Well, of course, who does not know him. This is Chuck himself, and besides, Norris, that is, he immediately popped it, and the hole is a swarm. They say that about him - he hits only 2 times, one on the head, and the second on the coffin. The six-time karate champion of the planet won about 200 fights in his life and remained invincible. His real name is Carlos Ray Norris. He went down in history as a cinema actor, who played many wonderful roles. Legends, jokes and jokes were invented about him. Today, a fighter, artist and just a good person, despite his 70-plus years, continues to delight fans with various appearances in the press and on TV, and his age in this, they say, is not a hindrance, but fun.
List of jokes about Chuck Norris
If in any conversation the topic of discussion is martial arts, then the phrase about the famous "Texas Ranger" will surely slip through. Funnels and jokes about Chuck Norris spread everywhere. Let's give a short list of the best little laughs about a powerful warrior.
What Chuck Norris can do:
- Get cyclops between the eyes.
- Squeeze the orange juice from the lemon.
- Bring a rubber woman to a real orgasm.
- Make the bow roar.
- Kill two cobblestones with one bird.
- Make the moving stone move and let the water pass.
- Shut the revolving door once and for all.
- Breathe in vacuum instead of oxygen.
- Decide without hours what time it is.
- Jump out of underwear.
What this guy can't do:
- Fall like a log.
- Sinking like an ax.
- Understand the joke and stop in time.
- Getting old. No age deviations.
- Answer the question of how much time? He always says - two seconds before - and carries out a crown kick.
- Boil the soup in a saucepan - do it in your hands.
- Use the dishes. Chuck has one-time use.
- Living in a single house. He always drives the owners out of their favorite home, and when it gets tired, he repeats this.
- Ride horses. The result is giraffes.
- Throw a boomerang. He is afraid to return to Chuck Norris.
Jokes and jokes about Chuck Norris
At ceremonies and celebrations, on name days and barbecue - everywhere with humor they remember a tough karateka with a black belt. Where jokes about Chuck Norris wander, it’s fun and provocatively. And he stands (and does not lie) on a par with the most famous heroes of world cinema.
Many romantic jokes and stories about Chuck walk through the expanses of satire, because women still love him, despite the years:
- Jack Nicholson has had 10, 000 women in bed in his entire life, while Chuck Norris has a work schedule from Monday to Friday.
- Safe locks and women do not dare to object to Chuck and are given to him on the first try.
- Years of love spare no one but Chuck Norris.
- Previously, the girls ran from the young Norris, but now he is running away from the crowds of suffering fans.
- Chuck falls asleep on a bed with one beauty, and wakes up with another. And so ten times a night.
Movie banter with the irreplaceable Chuck
Chuck opened the road to karate in the army, and after it, it was not someone else who became a guide in contact sports, but Bruce Lee, his best friend and unsurpassed skilled fighter. He is the director of the first films with the participation of Norris, such as: “The Rescue Team” and “The Way of the Dragon”, in which he starred as a stuntman. Some movie stems with the irreplaceable Chuck:
- Norris did not receive an Oscar for playing a movie, because he does not know how to play.
- In the film Jurassic Park, the tyrannosaurus did not chase an SUV, but ran away from Chuck Norris.
- Starring in the thrillers, Norris has always re-shot them with new actors.
- The Chuck actor always has 200 items at hand with which he can kill anyone.
- Never say “Nobody is perfect” with him, otherwise the karate will take this as an insult.
Many jokes about Chuck Norris and his mentor Bruce were born in 1968-1972. It was at this time that friends not only made films, but relaxed and had fun together. They broke bricks with hands and heads, and also practiced punches. From here came the following jokes:
- Chuck Norris does not enter through the doors, he appears through the walls.
- Norris has no chin; instead, there is a third fist.
- Chuck Norris's fist is the fastest way to a man’s heart.
- Bruce Lee and the nunchucks are invincible, and Chuck’s fist is the same as the nunchuck’s.
Let's continue about the funny
To tell and even more so listen to jokes about Chuck Norris is informative and funny. Reading the humorous lines, you delve into the life of a kind of guy who doesn’t care at all about the supernatural. Together we laugh at the legend man:
- The Guinness Book of Achievements tries to achieve his records, but cannot.
- Norris spits out seeds faster than a machine gun.
- When training with this restless guy, the simulator is violently gaining strength.
- Friends did not have time to warn the karate, when he swallowed a cake with a stripper sitting in it.
- You can look at water, fire and Chuck's kick from a U-turn for a long time.
- Chuck is not sleeping - he is waiting.
- Traffic lights automatically turn on red lights when Norris crosses the road.
