Today it is no longer possible to meet a person who, upon first meeting, will fall on one knee or bow to the ground. Women do not curtsy anymore, men rarely kiss the ladies hand, no one learns waltz parts or mazurka elements. What a surprise our ancestors would have looked at us! Indeed, for them, such secular etiquette was commonplace and even obligatory; it determined the presence of upbringing, good manners and culture. How and why the norms and rules of behavior in high society changed over time, this article will tell.
What does the concept of "secular etiquette" mean?
This definition incorporates a combination of good manners and regulates the lines of socially approved behavior. Knowing the norms of modern etiquette can help a person to find an environment, impress, and secure a reputation as an erudite intellectual and an attentive person. However, to achieve such an opinion about yourself is a real science. All generations who lived earlier dealt with it, so a certain set of advice to this day still developed, despite periodic changes in habits, tastes, worldview views. Regardless of time and era, social expectations in relation to an individual remained generally unchanged - they always included the presence of politeness, a sense of tact and courtesy, the ability to behave at a table, at a party, in a public place, the ability to start and maintain a conversation.
The emergence of etiquette
The history of etiquette is traditionally associated in the minds of most of the population with France, England and a number of other European countries, for example, Germany. However, they cannot be called the birthplace of secularism! For a long time there was widespread ignorance, rudeness, ignorance, respect for strength and power. Secular etiquette owes its origin to Italy, which alone, thanks to its own economic power, stood out, especially in the Early Middle Ages, against the background of other states. So, until the middle of the XVI century, England remained a barbaric country with bloodthirsty laws due to the relentless involvement in new wars. At that time, the independent Italian commune cities grew rich, were engaged in the development of art, and, of course, in attempts to decorate and ennoble their own lives, they gradually introduced the rules of etiquette. Germany of this period, like England, was involved in a no less bloody war, and therefore the nobility for a long time remained uncultured. France likewise recognized only the power of power, war and battle.
This is the beginning of the birth of etiquette, more closely related to modernity by its canons. Of course, you should not think that until the Middle Ages no etiquette norms existed in the world. They took shape almost immediately after a person appeared, which means, to a greater or lesser extent, accompanied people already from ancient times. After all, worship of the elements and local gods can also be considered certain rules of conduct. Ancient Greece, for example, also made a certain contribution to the development of secular norms: the merits of the Greeks included the creation of table and business etiquette.
The history of further development of etiquette
Secular etiquette in its formation has come a long way. Gradually, when military operations in Europe began to take on a more focused and deliberate character, the concept of courtesy appeared. It regulated the rules of behavior of knights, who began to act as one of the main representatives of an educated society with their own, distinctive, high secular culture. According to the code of honor, the knight had to choose the Beautiful Lady of the Heart for himself, fight and win for her sake, be able to compose verses and songs in honor of his beloved, not hope for an answer from her and play chess well. Of course, the rules provided for and the presence of such valor and skills characteristic of a knight as the ability to master weapons well, ride a horse, the ability to show courage, determination and fearlessness at the right time.
Etiquette of the secular society of that time gave such traditions familiar to mankind today as shaking hands at a meeting or removing a headdress. Both that and another during the time of chivalry confirmed the lack of desire to kill the interlocutor and was used to express good intentions and good location. Of course, today a person who mechanically shakes hands with a friend may not even know how important this gesture turned out to be in the world of medieval Europe!
The next stage, which characterizes the history of etiquette, is the period of the Renaissance (Renaissance). Achievements of technological progress, science and art have led to increased contacts between countries, as a result of which the rules of etiquette have taken a huge step forward, they have become identical to the education and elegance of man. Rules such as washing hands before eating, using cutlery and the ability to understand them, maintaining a consistent style in clothes, and the absence of excessive pomp and panache were becoming more widespread.
In the future, the concept of etiquette was constantly changing, filling up with, if not new, then qualitatively different content from era to era. Only all the best and necessary things were selected, that which could really manifest a person as an independent unit and characterize him in the aspect of knowledge of the rules of culture. Today this process is still not completed - the basics of etiquette are not static, they are in continuous change and development. With the advent of new spheres, new rules of behavior also appear.
And what happened to etiquette in Russia?
The initial existence of secular etiquette in the territory of modern Russia can be compared with the situation that takes place in the states of medieval Europe that are starting to emerge. There were no clearly formulated norms and rules until the end of the 17th - beginning of the 18th centuries, that is, until the enlightener and reformer Peter I ascended the throne. Before him, the universal reference book of any Russian person was “Domostroy, ” in which the fundamental principles of family life and housekeeping were prescribed, according to which the man was the undivided head in the house, could beat his wife, and also independently established by what customs and traditions they would live. Peter saw this as a relic of the past, unsuitable for a progressive state, and therefore borrowed many books from Europeans teaching secular etiquette.
Modern types of etiquette and those that are familiar to a person from history
Today, mankind, in addition to courteous etiquette, is familiar with the following types:
- Courtier - the culture and etiquette that were necessary to be observed at the court of the monarchs. These are strictly regulated and binding norms. For their non-compliance (for example, imperfection of a bow before the royal figure) it was quite possible to go to the chopping block. This type of etiquette is used today in states with a monarchical form of government.
- Diplomatic - these are the rules of secular etiquette that regulate the behavior of diplomats and the process of their interaction with each other during a meeting, at negotiations, at a reception, etc. This type of etiquette has also developed for a long time, but it still exists today.
- Military etiquette - is regulated by the presence of a specific charter and traditions developed over time that determine the behavior of all members involved within the military system. This includes manners and norms of behavior both in the service and in non-service spheres of activity, in interpersonal contacts, when making greetings and appeals that have a ritual orientation and are not used in other areas of life.
- Professional - a type of etiquette that gained the greatest development during the XX and XXI centuries due to the active increase in the number of professions associated with the beginning of the era of scientific and technological progress. The most diverse segments of the population from all over the world began to become more actively involved in professional activities, which as a result led to a significant expansion of the functionality of etiquette of this type.
- Business etiquette is also adjacent to the professional one, which regulates the norms of communication between officials with each other in the performance of their direct duties.
- General civil (also called behavioral or directly secular) is the broadest concept of etiquette, because it combines a common set of norms, rules, conventions and traditions that people resort to using when communicating with each other. General etiquette, therefore, is the most universal of all other species.
- Speech - this is a type of etiquette that establishes speech cultural norms that require knowledge of the stylistic and grammatical foundations of the language, as well as the ability to simply, clearly and intelligibly express your thoughts and convey them to others. This type is a mandatory component that is included in all of the above types of etiquette, since it is precisely the ability to correctly write and speak well that are the basic foundations of any etiquette in general.
Now it's time to consider the difference between the concepts of "ethics and etiquette." They can be easily confused, while each of them has a certain, distinct from the other word, meaning.
Ethics and Etiquette: Differences and Similarities
If what constitutes etiquette has already been clarified above, it is time to determine what the term “ethics” carries. This concept is a study of morality from the point of view of philosophy, that is, it seems to be very distantly related to the rules of social behavior. The differences between these concepts can be clearly demonstrated with specific examples, for example:
- “Love for the Lord and neighbor” is a sentence revealing the principle of ethics.
- "Do not kill, do not steal, do not wish" - this is a phrase that defines the principle of etiquette (from the point of view of Christian morality).
Both categories are designed to guide a person on the true path, teach him to do good deeds, instill a bright, kind outlook on the world. This is the main similarity between the terms ethics and etiquette. The first determines what should be achieved, and the second determines what and how this can be done.
Secular etiquette today: how to behave?
Now it’s time to understand in more detail what etiquette means, that is, go directly to a practical guide to action.
Modern social etiquette provides for:
- Forms of greeting and appeal to another;
- Rules of conduct during meals;
- Standards of conduct in certain circles of society;
- Rules of conversation, which also constitute a separate art with its subtleties and nuances (small talk);
- Courtesy in addressing women;
- Respect and respect for elders by age and position.
How to achieve that, to leave an extremely positive impression on oneself in society, to establish oneself as an educated and cultured person?
Etiquette Tools
The rules of secular behavior, which consist of the unity of the aesthetic (external) and moral and ethical (internal) components, offer each person an arsenal of certain auxiliary tools to achieve the goal - to achieve recognition in society. These include:
- Modesty and restraint. These qualities are by no means identical with shyness, timidity and self-doubt, but are determined by undemanding for one's own person, lack of expectation of any privileges for oneself, or the desire to flaunt oneself;
- Sensitivity and tact, which is manifested in the ability to take into account the age of the interlocutor, his position in society, the circumstances and place of conversation, the absence or presence of strangers, the emotional disposition of the person with whom communication takes place;
- A sense of proportion and the ability to stop yourself;
- The ability to control your own actions;
- Ability to be attentive.
Pursuing education, cultivating these qualities in oneself, one can be sure: sooner or later, recognition in society will come.
Can etiquette be learned?
Sure! Currently, anyone who wants to tighten their own skills in the ability to deal with other people can be offered a choice of any master class on secular etiquette. Connoisseurs teach their wards how to behave properly at the table, to understand the variety of cutlery, competently conduct discussions on deep, philosophical topics with an opponent so as not to offend anyone, organize and conduct receptions, go out to public places and much more. Of course, an integral part of the course is the section “small talk”, which will help people insecure in their own abilities begin to speak beautifully, elegantly and without unnecessary frills.
