In no language are there as many names for relatives as in Russian. About the banal mother-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and son-in-law, one should not even speak, everyone knows who it is. But did you know, for example, that the husbands of two sisters are each other's brothers-in-law, and the wives of two brothers-the father-in-law? Interestingly, in the Russian language there are very accurate and caustic proverbs and sayings that reflect difficult relationships within the family. For example: “city cougars are arrogant, ” “it’s cunning to be a mother-in-law, ” “my mother-in-law’s pockets are skinny.”
But today we will focus on one relative - this is the sister of the husband, or sister-in-law. Do you know how long ago they talked about her husband’s sister? Sister-in-law or sister-in-law - reel! And they also sentenced: “Zolovushkin’s speeches are standing with speech” How did this relative deserve such an attitude?
The sister of the husband and wife almost always have a difficult relationship. This is the same well-known conflict as in the relationship "mother-in-law-in-law" or "mother-in-law-daughter-in-law". In this case, the wives usually consider themselves to be the suffering parties: they are convinced that the sisters-in-law allow themselves to interfere in the personal life of the spouses, in their life, in the sphere of raising children and maintaining the family budget. Moreover, the sisters-in-law quite often are perplexed: they sincerely believe that they have every right to do so. That is why wives usually reduce communication with sisters-in-law to a minimum, or at least try to do it. And even the need to congratulate the husband’s sister once or twice a year turns into a real problem, conflicts are so acute.
The reason for this situation is a banal misunderstanding of the parties, unwillingness to take each other's position. And the affected party is usually the husband. Let's try to understand what lies at the basis of this misunderstanding.
A husband’s sister may treat her brother differently. First, she can associate herself with her mother (older sister or just more mature as a person). In this case, she will treat her brother affectionately and condescendingly and allow herself to interfere in his life. The extent of this intervention will depend on her tact and on how much she is allowed to do so. Also, the husband’s sister can project the image of the father on his brother, trying on him the role of protector. Consequently, she will claim her right to participate in her life, while not at all reckoning with his changing marital status. Often such a situation with the wife is associated with complete egoism, but sometimes the sister-in-law simply did not have time to realize all the changes. Another problem in this situation is that the husband’s sister continues to use his things and money, not at all reckoning with his brother’s wife. Remember, as they said - "sister-in-law". This is what this question is about: the husband’s sister still believes that she has the right to use her brother’s money (his apartment, car, cottage, etc.) as her own things. Her position is simple to understand: she is used to doing this, and is not going to change her habits for the sake of some “outsider” woman.
The most neutral option is a friendly relationship between a sister and a brother. But in this case, conflicts arise, most often due to banal jealousy. Moreover, both the husband’s sister can be jealous of the new woman in the brother’s life, and her husband’s wife to relatives in general and to the sister-in-law in particular.
Is there a way out of this situation? I would like to say that there is, but this is not entirely true. In order to avoid such a development of events, it is necessary that both sides of the conflict abstract themselves from emotions, which is almost impossible. Nevertheless, one should at least try to take a step towards each other: talk, try to understand, and outline the most pressing moments. This must be done, otherwise one of two things will happen: either one woman will lose her husband, or the other - her brother.
