For newlyweds, preparation for the wedding is always stressful, very important and at the same time interesting period. There is much to be done: choose dresses, rings, a venue for the celebration, make a list of guests, menus, think over an entertainment program … A whole mess! But if the wedding is planned in the best traditions, at the preparatory stage, traditional rituals, such as matchmaking and betrothal, must pass. We will tell in more detail how the matchmaking of the bride goes.
For hundreds of years, it has been an important rite, the purpose of which is to obtain consent for the wedding of the bride's relatives. Over time, this rite has not lost its meaning; it is popular in our days. Let's consider for a start how the matchmaking of the Russians goes.
Matchmaking in Russia
The chosen matchmakers should have known how the matchmaking is going on, all signs, rules. Their goal was to obtain the consent of the parents of the young girl so that she married the young man for whom they are asking. It also happened that the girl did not even know who she was being married to, who would be her future husband. The main thing was the consent of the parents.
Everything happened like this: the “applicant” came to the parents of the bride along with the matchmakers. They could be his parents, other relatives, friends. The conversation began with an "empty", only after several visits an effective answer was given. It was possible to reject the proposal immediately, but no one gave consent after the first visit - this was considered the height of indecency. When the matchmakers refused, leaving, they closed the doors with their backs, it was believed that this way the girl would not marry for a long time. In the event that the groom liked, the bride's parents took bread from his hands, cut for all those present. After that, the day of the hijacking was appointed - the time when further actions to organize the wedding will be discussed.
Another matchmaking option in Russia
Specially invited matchmakers (relatives - godfather, uncles, brothers), who knew how the matchmaking should go, came to the bride's house. Fearing the evil eye, the matchmakers entered the house after sunset. Starting with abstract topics, the conversation gradually approached the question of whether the girl agrees to marry the “candidate”? If the bride was not opposed, then she took a broom and began revenge in the direction of the stove, so symbolically expressed the location of the matchmakers. In case of refusal of revenge, it was necessary in the direction of the doors, as if expelling them.
How is the matchmaking of Russians on their wedding day?
This interpretation of matchmaking is rather indicative, comic. The scenarios of this event are great. By the way, this type of matchmaking is distinguished by the fact that it takes place on the day of the wedding or wedding, as the ransom of the bride.
The essence of the event: the bride and groom choose their own matchmakers. On the part of the groom, the matchmakers are trying to redeem the bride, her matchmakers are trying to “sell” the girl as expensive as possible. In this situation, the proverb sounds: "You have a product, we have a merchant." The groom with the matchmakers, relatives, friends must redeem the bride. On the part of the bride, a matchmaker is waiting for him, who is trying in every possible way to “not give” her lover, filling the price, arranging various contests. With jokes and jokes, the groom buys the bride, takes her out of the table, after which the joint fun continues.
To choose a matchmaker in this case you need to be more careful. She should have a funky cheerful character, be loud-voiced, lively on the tongue. This entertaining matchmaking option should take place in a relaxed, fun atmosphere.
Modern matchmaking. The arrival of the groom
Now consider how the matchmaking (its first option) is going on today. You need to approach the event in all seriousness. If the young people adhere to moral principles, traditions, consider it necessary to receive the blessing of their parents, then it is imperative to get married. The young man comes first to the bride's house. Best of all, if before his arrival the bride mentally prepared her parents so that a welcoming atmosphere reigned in the house. The groom should look his best to make the best impression. A young man presents a bouquet of flowers to both the girl and her mother. This indicates observance of etiquette. The bride must introduce the groom to her parents, starting with her father. Then, in a casual conversation, the groom talks about his feelings for their daughter, devotes to future plans and asks her hands and hearts. Next is the word for the parents. If they agree, then the father unites the young, joining their hands. If the groom came to visit alone, the meeting should not be long.
Return visit. Parents Meet
How is the matchmaking going on? Now the bride makes a return visit. She must give the groom's mother a bouquet. You can also present a cake or good candy as a gift. After meeting with parents, the groom should start talking about feelings first, tell about joint plans, ask for parental consent. With a positive outcome, there is an agreement when to meet all together (children and parents) to discuss the wedding itself. Although nowadays marriage agencies carry out the full preparation of wedding events, in this case, parents need to agree only on the payment of their services. If the parents live very far away, the young ones should send them photographs of their half, ask for permission to marry.
Engagement
After the matchmaking, many young couples organize an engagement. The closest relatives and best friends are invited to the evening. Loudly the bride and groom announce to their closest people their intention to marry. The bride receives a gift engagement ring, which she will wear until the very day of the wedding. This ring is passed from generation to generation, do not confuse it with a wedding ring, it has a slightly different meaning. The time from the engagement to the wedding itself is considered a period for reflection. The last time you need to carefully weigh everything and think about whether you are ready to lose your freedom, live the rest of the days with a chosen one.
How is matchmaking among Armenians
Previously, the parents of a young man, choosing a bride, turned to some of their relatives who knew the girl’s family. The mediator (midjord kin) must negotiate the consent of the parents to the marriage. In order for negotiations to be successful, during a visit to the pillar at the groom's house they hung a comb or a large spoon - a skull. After the parents agreed with the mediator, they planned official matchmaking. It passed in a few days.
Matchmakers (patvirak) were sent to the girl’s house, who knew well how the ceremony of matchmaking takes place. They were chosen from male relatives on the father's side, a mediator came with them, in some cases the mother of the groom. The girl’s parents knew in advance about the arrival of the matchmakers. The conversation began in allegorical form: we came to take a handful of ash from your hearth to mix with ours; to take a spark from your lamp for ours and the like. Most often, parents respond that they need time to think. Agreeing immediately was considered indecent. Sometimes the matchmakers had to visit the bride's family two and three times. Only after the father’s consent was the table set, did they all drink the wine that the matchmakers brought. Prior to this, guests were not allowed to treat, it was believed that if you give bread to the matchmaker, you would have to give your daughter.
Matchmaking today
How should the bride matchmaking take place in Armenia today? Men often play the role of matchmakers. If they count on consent, then they bring refreshments: sweets, cognac, wine. In the event that there is no certainty, the matchmakers go empty-handed. The ceremony itself repeats exactly the old traditions. The only significant difference between modern matchmaking is that it always requires the consent of the bride. The wedding will not take place if the girl is against. Parents of the bride, as in old times, do not give consent the first time, the matchmakers have to go several times. In the end, with a positive answer, they beat the hands. The official conspiracy is called Hosk Arnel, pats ktrel (to fasten the word, break the bread). As a pledge, it is customary to present a gift to the bride, more often it is a golden ring.
