The critical age of a man is a serious problem that everyone will have to face to some extent. In the vast majority of cases, this period occurs between 37 and 42 years. It is believed that this is the most difficult time in the life of a representative of the stronger sex. Some even call it the "fateful forties." In this article we will tell you how to transfer this period with minimal losses. We give specific advice from psychologists, not only to the men themselves, but also to their wives, and also dwell on other dangerous time periods.
Real disaster
That is how many experts characterize the critical age of a man, which occurs in the region of forty years. The previous problem period is easier, although even then you have to face problems.
A critical age is approaching in men and around their thirtieth birthday. Then, first of all, their social role is affected. The problems associated with this period relate to issues of self-determination, choosing the right life path. In most cases, they do not affect personal life at all. But at forty, a real catastrophe occurs.
This has several reasons that can be compared with the so-called identity crisis.
Summarizing
Most importantly, a person in this period begins to take preliminary results of his life. If by the age of forty he has reason to consider himself successful, then we can assume that at least his social ambitions are satisfied.
He begins to consider himself a winner, who rely on reward and applause, the admiring glances of the fans. It is important when at that moment he has a family in which he would play the role of the head, so that everything was in place in it, in perfect order.
At the same time, the man himself is convinced that he perfectly fulfills his social roles. In addition to work and home, he forms a circle of communication, hobbies and hobbies, which are external attributes of success. It seems that everyone around is simply obliged to admire his achievements. However, in practice, everything turns out to be completely different. A person’s crisis age of 40 years is made up of several components at once.
Crisis components
This is the main feature of this problem state. An important place in the life of a man is occupied by his wife, who has been with him for many years, witnessed his ups and downs, she saw both triumph and humiliation.
She has long ceased to praise her husband. Even if he achieves some next goal, he can say that he is well done, but after that he will add that for complete happiness it is necessary to carry out a whole list of urgent matters.
Fathers and his children are not in a hurry to admire him, who by that time, as a rule, have reached adolescence, when they themselves are experiencing the first serious psychological crisis in their life. They themselves are undergoing a global reassessment of everything. Most often, the attitude of parents is skeptical.
As a result, a man reaches a critical age of 40 years, when he needs to be admired, and there is simply no one to do it. For most, the solution remains obvious. Admiration and attention can be obtained from young girls who are captivated by the image of a successful and successful alpha male.
In this situation, a man is cheating on his wife with a young girl, not because she is 20 years younger and more attractive, but because he needs recognition of his success as air. At home, he has not received this return for a long time.
In addition, he is trying to understand what is in this life. Admiration from friends and colleagues is a long gone stage. He needs admiration from women, the most important thing is how they relate to his powerful and all-capable personality.
The so-called hunger of recognition appears, to which the fear of another impending birthday is mixed, when it is already necessary to exchange the fifth dozen.
Disappointed health
At the age of 40, a critical age for men in health comes. A person feels youth passing irrevocably. Increasingly, this or that internal organ is disturbing, nerves are naughty, heart aches, migraines occur more often, vessels or kidneys are disturbed. As a rule, by the age of forty the list of diseases is quite extensive.
Suddenly, there is a clear realization that the best years are behind us. All the most interesting and bright that could happen has already happened. When this awareness falls upon a person, a full-scale critical age begins for a man.
A particularly insidious blow is the first signs of erectile dysfunction. Sexual problems turn into a serious blow, which not everyone can handle, in principle,. A man feels that he is losing his strength, ceases to be the alpha male that he represented himself throughout almost the entire conscious life. In fact, at this moment the whole world is collapsing. As a result, any hormonal disorder at this age leads to hassle and stress. Reduced potency, fear of potential impotence cause real panic.
Impotence seems to be the irrevocable end of life. This is how the critical age in men after 40 manifests.
Characteristic signs
You can recognize a midlife crisis by both external and internal characteristics. A person becomes irritated and withdrawn. When looking in the mirror, as a rule, he sees a man still full of strength and health, but at the same time at the subconscious level he understands that time does not stand still, very soon his health will completely fail. Especially male. Therefore, he begins to hurry to manage to feel, understand, try, experience as much as possible. It can still.
A feature of the critical age during this period is the pathological desire to restore health. Sometimes it turns out to be so zealous that a man hurts himself, but it only scares him even more. As a rule, the wife is accused of all troubles and failures, the situation in the family is heated to the limit.
All attention to the personal front
The critical age in men after 40 years is expressed in the fact that all their attention is focused on intimate achievements and potency. Self-identification suffers extremely, as successes on the personal front become symbols of well-being, victories and success.
At the same time, there is absolute confidence that relations with the spouse have completely outlived themselves, all feelings have long been forgotten. Only debt and children remained, for the sake of which it was still necessary to remain together. However, a sense of duty is what inspires the man the least in his life at this time. It is not able to make him happy, turning into an annoying burden. During this crisis, a man is convinced that his wife does not give him the opportunity to develop and realize himself, to feel young. As a result, the man finally cools down to proximity with his wife.
There is a feeling of incomprehensibility, endless loneliness. During this period, sentimentality and even tears become characteristic manifestations. The very fact of self-pity is a sign of deep suffering.
Reasons for Disappointment and Discontent
The main reasons for the discontent that a man formulates for himself at this moment are that his wife became completely uninteresting and non-sexual for him. There is simply nothing to talk about with her, as she is obsessed with her friends and household chores.
The man believes that his wife ceased to understand him, leaving him all alone. For example, she claims that she is not involved in sports, which makes her flabby and unattractive.
To himself, a man feels a consumer attitude. He feels the need for freedom, may declare that he worked for the family good for so many years, and now he wants to live for himself. The main thing is that he understands that there is only one life, therefore he seeks to have time to do as much as possible.
Sentimentality and love
At forty, a man becomes surprisingly sentimental. The thirst for freedom flies through him, and work and past hobbies can no longer satisfy him, as before. Everything that was important is depreciating, I just want to jump into the last car of the departing train called life.
At this age, a man is not just keen on women of the opposite sex, but really thirsts for sincere romantic relationships.
The critical age of a person is characterized by vulnerability and sentimentality. He really falls in love. From then on, I am ready to accept only unconditional recognition.
In addition, at this age, the amount of testosterone in the body begins to decrease. Which makes him too sentimental and sensitive. At the same time, his wife, if she is the same age, on the contrary, becomes stronger and more confident. A man needs a soul mate, in search of her, he begins to meet with young girls.
Divorce risk
It is at this time that the likelihood of divorce increases. It is worthwhile to understand that if a man divorces by marrying for the second time a charming and attractive girl who will admire him, he will inevitably soon begin to compare her with his first wife. The most amazing thing is that he will begin to try to create a copy of it, an analogue to which he is used to, which is familiar to him and more understandable.
It is important for a woman to understand that during this period her man is most in need of help, reliable support and support from her. However, he is not able to ask about it, and often does not realize that he can get everything he needs from the hearth without rushing into the abyss of debauchery. It is not easy to establish contact in such a situation, as a man behaves defiantly and aggressively, so in response many begin to repel him and condemn him. The main thing is to try to understand this for both spouses, try to find a common language and make a compromise.
When fifty turned …
Critical age in men after 50 years also comes inevitably. Some carry it easier, but problems still happen. And quite serious.
In this period comes true maturity, which follows the average age. The boundaries of this state are blurred, as a rule, maturity comes in 45-60 years. The main thing is that a person is at the top of his professional, personal and life path. As a rule, it was during this period that he achieved professional excellence, a certain status and status in society, and began to pass on the accumulated experience to young generations. A critical rethinking of life values takes place, while a person finally gets rid of unjustified hopes and illusions.
