The rules of etiquette at the table and eating

Knowing the rules of etiquette at the table, any person feels more confident in any company and society, in a restaurant and cafe, on travel and on a picnic. There are a lot of styles, schools and rules, some even contradict each other. Etiquette depends on the country and culture of the people, institutions and society. The article will discuss the rules of table setting, the rules of behavior during meals, the features of the use of individual cutlery, the rules of behavior for children at the dinner table.

What is etiquette at the table?

The history of ethics is very old. Our far ancestors, primitive people, knew how to behave beautifully and less culturally during meals and sought to teach others this skill. Over time, etiquette standards were formed and improved. This is currently a science that teaches us to behave properly and culturally at the table.

It should be remembered that a person is remembered by the impression that he made. As a rule, small details are striking that can ruin everything. Therefore, you must be prepared to behave correctly and know the basic norms of etiquette.

Experts recommend that parents teach their children the ability to set the table and handle cutlery at every meal. It is believed that a skill that is practiced at home becomes the norm of human behavior, and no matter in what society he is, he will behave culturally and ethically.

How to behave at the table: etiquette rules

The rules of behavior for food are basic knowledge that is necessary for every person. Eating accompanies him throughout his life:

Business lunches during which important contracts are signed.
Festive events, corporate receptions.
Family feasts.

Shared dinners bring people together. It is always pleasant to communicate with a person who knows and follows the rules of etiquette at the table and eating, does not cause discomfort to others, is neat and noiseless.

Basic norms and rules of conduct

So, the features of cultural and proper behavior during the feast:

First of all, you need to sit on a chair correctly. Posture speaks of the ability to show oneself in society, the character and habits of a person. The following posture is most appropriate at the table - a straight back, relaxed and relaxed posture. The hands should lie on the edge of the table, with the elbows slightly pressed against the body. While eating, a slight tilt of the body forward is allowed, the distance from the body to the table should be such that the person does not experience physical inconvenience.

There is a small exercise that will help you learn how to sit at the table. For this, it is necessary to press several small books to the body with the help of elbows.

During a meal you must:

Behave carefully and quietly.
Slowly chew every bite of food with your mouth closed.
If the dish is very hot - wait until it cools down. Do not blow loudly on a plate or cup. This is especially the current rule of etiquette at the table for girls and schoolchildren.
From common dishes, products must be taken with special devices designed for this. The exceptions are cookies, sugar, fruits.
Start eating only after serving all the guests.

What absolutely can not be done:

Sip, smack, slurp.
Talk with a mouth full.
Putting elbows, personal belongings, a bag, keys, a cosmetic bag on the table.
Reach across the table for food. You need to ask the person to hand over the dish.

How to transfer dishes?

Inconvenient or difficult to hold dishes must be put on the table when transferred to a neighbor, that is, not transferred to him personally, but put in front of him in an empty seat.
Dishes with handles, tureens, it is customary to pass the handle towards the dinner, which takes it.
If the food is served on a dish and it is necessary to cut it, then when transferring a dish, everyone keeps it in turn, while a neighbor puts food on it, always using only common appliances that are attached to this dish.
All cutlery are divided into general, designed for unfolding products, and individual - are used for eating.

How to use common appliances?

General-purpose devices are located to the right of the dish for which they are intended.
If both the spoon and the fork are served, then there is a rule: the spoon lies to the right of the dish, it is used to scoop up and raise food, and the fork to the left, it supports the food.
Common appliances should be returned to the dish, placing them in the same way as they were served.
If a cutting knife is served to the dish, then in order to avoid cuts, it is customary to direct it into the dish.

In the restaurant

Very often, dinner or lunch takes place in a restaurant. Table etiquette rules and special recommendations:

A man lets his companion go forward. He opens the door, takes over clothes.
If someone is delayed, they are waiting for 15 minutes, after which they start the meal.
If you are late, you should apologize, but do not switch the attention of those present to yourself, explaining the reason for the delay.
If there are both men and women at the table, men make the choice of the menu and the order of dishes.
Start eating only when the dishes are served to all those present.
You can’t look at and sniff food demonstratively, it looks uncivilized.
Bones should be removed from the mouth with a fork and placed on the edge of the plate.

In the restaurant at the table you can not do the following:

Carry out hygiene procedures, that is, correct makeup, comb hair, wipe neck, face with sanitary napkins, all this should be done in the restroom.
It is considered bad form to leave traces of lipstick on a glass, so before starting a meal you should blot your lips with a napkin.
You can’t call the waiter loudly, knock on the glass with a fork.
Take food from a common dish with your personalized cutlery.

Table setting

Regardless of whether it is a business lunch or dinner with your family, the table should be properly served. This gives the meal solemnity and accustoms to the culture. Adhering to the rules of etiquette at the table and eating is much easier when you see a neatly served table.

There are many ways to set the table, they depend on the nature and type of event, time of day and other factors.

In the classic form, you can use the rules described below.

A mandatory attribute of the table should be a tablecloth, it is best to choose light shades, on such a canvas the dishes will look stylish. According to the rules, the tablecloth should hang no more than 30 centimeters from the edge of the table.
Chairs should stand at some distance from each other so that diners do not interfere with each other's elbows.
A serving plate is placed at a distance from the edge of the table - 2-3 cm, it is a stand. Put a deeper plate on top.
Plates for bread, rolls and pies are located on the left.
Broths and soups are served in deeper plates or bowls.
According to the rules of etiquette at the table, cutlery is placed on paper napkins, they are usually picked up to match the tablecloth. Cloth napkins are used during food to protect clothes, they are rolled up on plates.
To the right of the plate are those devices that are usually held with the right hand. A tablespoon is placed with the convex side down, the knife with the cutting side to the plate, at the fork, the teeth should look up, the dessert spoon is placed on top of the plate.
A glass of drinking water is placed in front of the knife.
Common dishes are always placed in the center of the table, next to them is supposed to put, according to the rules of etiquette at the table, common cutlery.
Hot drinks are always served in special teapots or coffee pots, while the cups are placed on the table, under them should be a small saucer, and next to a teaspoon.
Sugar is served in a sugar bowl, along with a serving spoon.
It is allowed on the table up to 4 glasses at a time: large (for red wine), slightly smaller (for white), elongated narrow glasses (for champagne and sparkling wines), a low wide glass (for water).
Fresh flowers in vases, which are placed in the center of the table, look beautiful on any table. They give a festive look and are an additional decoration of the table.

Napkins

A woven napkin is designed to cover clothing. It needs to be deployed in one motion. The way it is placed on your lap depends on the size of the napkin. There are two options:

A large-sized napkin is usually used for official events, it is customary to unfold it in half.
Small sized wipes unfold completely.

Do not fill the napkin by the collar, buttons, belt!

How is a napkin used during meals? You can use it to wet your lips, but do not wipe them, always before using drinks, you need to wet your lips so that there are no traces of lipstick or fat on the glasses.

If the table was served with napkins with rings, according to the rules of etiquette at the table, it should be put in the upper left corner of the devices. After lunch, you need to take a napkin at the center and pass it into the ring, you need to leave it so that its center looks at the center of the table. If you need to leave for a while, then the napkin should be put to the left of the plate, while the side that was used should be wrapped inward.

How to use devices

There are two ways to use cutlery - European (classic) and American. The first stipulates that the fork and knife are held in hand throughout the entire lunch. The knife is not put on a plate, even if it is not needed. The American system of using devices allows you to put the knife on the edge of the plate, and the fork can be shifted to the right hand and there is only one. The blade of the knife should be turned inside the plate, the handle should be located on its edge.

Dishes that do not need to be cut (fried eggs, cereals, pasta, mashed potatoes, vegetables) can be taken with a fork in the right hand.

The food that needs to be cut is done in a direction away from you, so that there are not so many pieces. It is not customary to cut all the food at once, it must be done gradually in the course of the meal.

How to complete the meal? Where to put the appliances after eating? The rules of etiquette at the table provide that after finishing the knife and fork are placed parallel to each other on a plate, their handles should be directed to the lower right corner - this is a worldwide recognized sign that indicates the end of the meal.

If the food is not finished yet, the knife and fork must be crossed on a plate, but at the same time, the appliance handles should not protrude much from the plate.

After eating liquid food, you can leave the spoon either in the plate itself or on a stand.

General rules for using devices:

You can not check the cleanliness of the devices, if there is any stain on the devices, you need to quietly ask the waiter to replace them.
If there are a lot of cutlery on the table, and there are doubts about which fork to which dish to take, you can see how other guests solve this problem.
With complex serving, you need to take the farthest fork from the edge of the plate, and as you change the dishes, gradually approach the nearest one.
The knife is intended either for cutting food, or for spreading pastes.
You can not try food with a knife.
If asked to transfer the device - according to the rules of etiquette at the table, they are transferred with the handle forward, taking it in the middle.
All fish dishes, both cold and hot, are eaten with a special device, if not, then with a fork. You can’t cut fish with a knife. But poultry dishes are eaten with a fork with a knife, you can’t eat with your hands and gnaw bones.
A teaspoon and a coffee spoon are intended only for stirring sugar, after which it needs to be supported on a saucer.
If tea or coffee is very hot, you need to wait until the liquid has cooled. You can not drink from a spoon, blow into a cup.
It is impolite to continue eating while someone is giving a speech.
If you need to get rid of chewing gum, you need to wrap it in a napkin and then throw it away.
Bread is taken by hand, you can’t bite off a piece, it is eaten in small pieces, breaking them off over your plate.
Broths are served either in bowls with one handle or with two. If the cup is with one handle, you can safely drink from it, and if with two handles, that is, a dessert spoon.
Salt from the salt shaker is taken with a clean knife, or a special spoon.

Compliment the cook

Even if the food was very tasteless, you must definitely say something positive. Of course, you should not lie if the meat was burnt, it makes no sense to say that it was delicious. It looks unnatural, it’s best to say that the sauce or side dish worked out well. In any case, you need to find something to praise for, because it is very important that lunch ends on a positive note.

Rules for serving dishes

Depending on the degree of formality of the refectory, the rules for serving meals at lunch differ:

For formal dinners, the following rules exist: food is served separately for each guest, while the waiter comes with dishes on the left. Sometimes plates are filled in the kitchen, and then they are taken out and placed in front of the guest.
At informal meetings, the owner himself arranges the food on the plates of the guests.

Subtleties of the rules of table etiquette

If it is necessary to refuse a certain dish due to an allergy or diet, it is necessary to explain to the owner the reason for the refusal (but not to focus on the attention of the whole society).
If the food is stuck between the teeth, you can not get it at the table, even if there are toothpicks. It is necessary to apologize, go to the toilet room, where and remove the jammed food.
According to the rules of behavior at the table, cutlery and glasses do not leave traces of lipstick - this is bad taste. It is necessary to go to the toilet room and dab the lipstick with a paper towel.
The restaurants have smoking areas, if lunch takes place in such an area, you can’t smoke between meals, it’s best to wait until the dinner is over, ask permission from those present, and only then smoke. Never use plates as ashtrays.
According to the rules of etiquette at the table, handbags, cosmetic bags, diplomats can not be put on the dining table. This rule applies to keys, gloves, glasses, phones, and cigarette packs. In general, the rule states that if an item is not related to lunch items, it should not be on the table.

How to behave at the table and what to talk about?

The rules of etiquette at the table imply not only the correct use of devices, good posture, but also the manner of dialogue and conversation.

It is strictly forbidden to discuss provocative issues that can cause conflict, which is why it is better to refrain from discussing - politics, money, religion.
It is necessary to look into the eyes of the one who addresses the question. Listen first, and then answer.
If the proposed topic does not coincide with eating, you need to offer to discuss this issue later.
Fierce debate, voice enhancement, and inappropriate comments should be avoided.
Good praise is the praise of the owner, the initiator of the feast, the cook.

Subtleties of etiquette in different countries

The rules of etiquette at the table and eating in different countries differ from the usual for us. Some norms can be completely unusual and exotic for Russia.

So, to avoid uncomfortable situations, tourists should pay attention:

In Korea and Japan they eat with the help of special chopsticks. During meals, they are placed parallel to the edge of the table, it is strictly forbidden to stick them in rice (this is a symbol of a funeral).
In Brazil, there may be a special red token on the table on one side and green on the other. The green side indicates that the visitor asks to bring another dish, if there is no need for additional food, the token should be turned to the red side.
In England and India, it is not recommended to eat with the left hand, since it is considered unclean, this also applies to shaking hands, transferring objects.
In Italy, it is not customary to drink cappuccino in the afternoon, do not add parmesan to pizza or pasta.
In China, if a fish is ordered, it cannot be turned over, one part should be eaten, the ridge should be removed and the second should be continued.

Before traveling, you need to familiarize yourself with the basic rules of etiquette. The culture and traditions of other nations must be respected so as not to offend the local population.

Etiquette rules for children at the table.

Children need to be taught etiquette from an early age. They quickly absorb information, in addition, the learning process can be turned into a game.

It is necessary to teach the child to wash his hands before each meal, for this you need to start to set an example for him, then the action will become so familiar that it will be performed automatically.
The child needs to be seated at a table with adults so that he gets used to the company. During lunch, you do not need to turn on the TV, as it distracts from the absorption of food.
For the collar he can fill a textile napkin.
For small children, special plastic or silicone knives and forks are provided. They do not cause injury, and are absolutely safe for the baby.
You should teach your child to sit upright, not to swing in a chair, not to scream, not to speak loudly. You can not play with food.
You need to teach your child to say "Thank you" after each meal, and only then leave the table.
Attach the children a little older to the table setting; let them help to arrange plates and lay out cutlery.

The most important thing is patience, perhaps the child will not understand the rules the first time, but do not shout at him, be nervous. Everything will come with time, the main rule of learning is a personal example.