In such complex categories that are related to the human nature, character, life circumstances, it is difficult to act as an expert and herald of truth. Moreover, loyalty to each perceives in its own way. For someone, loyalty to the family comes first, and for his sake he is capable of anything. For another, loyalty to oneself and one's beliefs. For the third - the oath of service (whether marital, religious or state) … Therefore, if we take in general, then treason is (in the generally accepted interpretation) a betrayal of something or someone. But what about the multidimensional and multifactorial nature of human behavior and beliefs?
It’s hard not to fall into relativism. If we assume that betrayal is a preference for the interests of one's own or others, but not of the one to whom loyalty was promised, can one expressly condemn it? Most often we come across these issues in family relationships. More than half of marriages and unions have faced and will face such dilemmas. It is generally accepted in society that treason is a sin. On the topic of whether it is possible to forgive, whether it is necessary to glue the broken, thousands of pages are written. But more often than not, in the heat of emotions, the main thing is forgotten. Treason is a particular manifestation of the fact that everything in the union is dysfunctional. Judge for yourself. Most marriages are at a fairly young age, when the couple have not yet managed to get to know each other. They grow, realize their life programs, attitudes, ideals.
And gradually it becomes more and more clear that instead of being happy together, they torture each other morally, sometimes physically. After all, even the fact that there is a need to hide some part of one’s existence is an alarming signal. This is a sign that not all needs are met in the union. That there is no trust and openness. Treason is always pain, disappointment, breach of trust. But when I hear about how vile "he" or how insidious "she" - betrayed, deceived, let down - I often ask the question: was the other half so blind that they couldn’t see that it wasn’t all right? After all, no third can appear where the two are well, where they make up harmony. Anyone else, the very possibility of this arises only when there is a crack. Most often, this “third party” is not guilty of anything: it only turned out to be a decay catalyst, which was already brewing. So let's not lie to ourselves. Treason is not a bolt from the blue. Rather, this is the last lightning strike during a thunderstorm. People tend to blame others for their misfortunes. But let's look at the situation soberly: are we entitled to expect that someone should subordinate their desires, aspirations, interests to us? And why do we need forced fidelity?
Let no one agree with me. But I am deeply convinced that treason is an exaggerated evil. We tend to unite in order to feel our belonging. And that is why one who violates these unwritten laws, who wants to be himself, is stigmatized. Conformism is much simpler. "I love another, but I will not leave my wife, because … (children, apartment, sorry, she has no money or, on the contrary, I will not have)." And let's think, what is such a wife? How should it be hard to realize that the one who should be support and support, renders it (if at all capable of it) only under the onslaught of conventions? What is not sincere, what is not from the heart acts.
It is generally accepted that spiritual treason is a kind of platonic equivalent of sexual.
These are feelings experienced in relation to someone to whom we should not have them, because we are connected, we cannot, we have no right. Stop! After all, in fact, the problem is not in the feelings. A man is born free, and any conventions are nothing more than an attempt by society to limit it, to control it. Therefore, I am convinced that treason is not love on the side. This is not a sexual act or platonic admiration for someone from outside. In my opinion, much more serious sins in this are lies and abuse of trust. That is, worse for everyone, the whole triangle is not the very fact of its existence, but the fact that someone remains for a long time in ignorance regarding the true state of affairs. Cheating can be understood and forgiven. Moreover, it can be a lesson for the future, which will show what was missing in this alliance. But deliberate misrepresentation, deception is much more difficult to forgive. True love does not tolerate violence and restrictions. And her lies poison the root.
