In the domestic works of psychologists devoted to the science of communication, as a rule, there is always an indication of the inadmissibility of using a mentor tone that provokes a negative reaction to the interlocutor. Let’s take a closer look at what a mentor’s tone is and how unambiguous the statement about its inadmissibility is.
History of the term
The word "mentor" came to us from hoary antiquity, from ancient Greek mythology. This name is mentioned by the poet Homer in his classic poem about the wanderings of Odysseus. When the main character went to fight with Troy, he instructed his friend Mentor to look after his son Telemachus and instruct him. The teacher zealously fulfilled his duties. He taught Telemachus, protected him from nonsense, gave reasonable advice. The name Mentor has come down to our time as a household name, it means a teacher, mentor, one who is smarter and acts more correctly.
The meaning of the word "mentor" in Russian everyday life
In the Russian understanding, the mentor is a synonym for a stern teacher, demonstrating his superiority over students, as a result of which he turns to them with some arrogance.
If the interlocutor is unshakably confident in his innocence and communicates with extraneous tone, which does not tolerate objections, they say that he took a “mentoring tone”. Communicating in this way, the mentor demonstrates his conviction that his judgments cannot be erroneous; he does not give the right to exist a point of view different from his own.
In Russian literature, both fiction and scientific, the term "mentor tone" is used from a negative point of view, this expression always has an ironic connotation. The mentor is characterized as a person who is excessively self-confident, not respecting his interlocutors, and allowing inappropriate arrogance towards others.
Why it is unacceptable to use a mentor tone in communication
Psychologists advise in every possible way to avoid arrogance towards others. Who can take a mentor tone:
- parents in communication with the child;
- teacher in communication with the student;
- leader in relation to subordinates;
- successful person to others;
- leader in his group.
However, each person wants to feel their importance, everyone is pleased when his opinion is treated with respect and sympathy. Naturally, the swagger and megalomania of a speaker can only alienate his listeners. A mentor tone can significantly reduce the self-esteem of the person to whom it is applied regularly, nullify the results of even the most brilliant speech. It causes hostility, resentment, desire to take revenge.
In diplomacy, pretentious statements and a mentoring tone are a direct path to a political crisis. The latter may even cause a war.
