Negative human qualities are by no means congenital signs. This is a consequence of the upbringing and lack of healthy introspection, which encourages not only to look for patterns that are negatively perceived by others, but also to eradicate them.
"Acrid man" - this is what they say about lovers making evil jokes. Such jokes are distinguished from humor by a goal: not to cheer up the interlocutors and to cheer them up, but to morally exalt oneself over others.
Reasons for behavior
Paradoxically, an evil, sarcastic person is a product of our society, the result of his inability to resist behavior that already goes beyond polite communication, but is not yet a legal violation.
The human psyche is focused on responding to all signals from the surrounding world and adjusting to it, changing the line of behavior. There is a negative and positive reinforcement for this: every time a person receives a worthy rebuff after an evil joke, his desire to continue to behave inappropriately decreases by an order of magnitude.
In the event that he received positive reinforcement in the form of the absence of a negative reaction, his desire to continue to behave stingingly increases.
This does not always happen consciously: often a person simply cannot reflect on his own behavior, does not only think about whether his words can hurt others, but is not interested in the reason why the desire to say insulting taunts arose at all.
Come from childhood
Until recently, many malformations were justified by improper upbringing or psychological trauma received by a person in childhood. In this light, even the most evil, caustic, insidious person becomes a victim of circumstances and ceases to be responsible for his actions.
Modern psychology is very skeptical about the idea of looking for the causes of behavior in a person’s childhood. The psyche of each of us is a very plastic thing, it can easily be changed under the influence of only two factors: motivation (desire to change something) and steps in this direction.
How does a stinging person behave?
Encountering a stinging person is a real challenge for many people. After all, he is able not only to play a joke, he has the ability to see the hidden complexes of a person, pull them out into the light and present them in a grotesque form.
For example, for a girl who is insecure due to the shape of her nose, this type will instantly come up with an unpleasant comparison with a cartoon character. He will strive to make a quiet and timid person the center of attention.
Paradoxically, people can unconsciously strive to get close to such a person, thereby trying to protect themselves from witty attacks. But the rare close of such an individual will not receive his portion of humorous insults - this is the line of behavior that a stinging person adheres to. The signs by which one can recognize a person prone to cruel jokes and ridicule are as follows:
- does not show sympathy for other people;
- behaves relaxedly even with unfamiliar people or in a business setting;
- blames politeness for insincerity.
Sometimes it’s possible to understand that you are a stinging person by his behavior, even if his verbal aggression is directed at another person. There is every reason to believe that sooner or later you will be the target of his offensive comments.
How to behave with a stinging person?
“Do not pay attention to insults, and the stinging person will leave you behind, he will become bored with hurt you, ” is a popular opinion that reflects reality only partially.
Standing on the same level as the offending one and trying to answer the attack with a more caustic joke is really not worth it. Firstly, to engage in a duel with weapons, which the evil joker is fluent in, means in most cases to lose to him.
Secondly, picking up witticisms is a great waste of time, and not a single sarcastic person is worth it to devote precious minutes to him.
The best way to fight is a physical distance or emotional separation from that person. That is, getting up and leaving is really the right choice if the offense was inflicted intentionally and in a cruel form, and not an escape from the “battlefield”.
Before the distance, you can briefly express a negative attitude to what has been said, make it clear that this style of communication is not suitable, so there is no point in continuing the dialogue. In the event that a stinging person repents and regrets that his severity injured his interlocutor, he will certainly let this know.
The impact of self-esteem
Reliable armor that no evil joke can overcome is a stable and good self-esteem. It is very important to evaluate yourself correctly, not overstating your own expectations from your person, but also not underestimating them.
A person with a stable self-esteem usually looks confident, calm and relaxed. Even if an insult, veiled in jest, is released in his direction, he would rather be surprised than upset or offended. However, this does not prevent him from estranging himself from such an interlocutor: after all, the ability to evaluate oneself correctly carries a bonus in the form of the ability to correctly recognize the attitude of other people to oneself, without justifying them and not building empty illusions.
