Looking at the smiling girl in the photograph, it is hard to imagine that she was sick with schizophrenia. Yes, it was “I was sick, ” contrary to popular belief that this disease cannot be defeated. Here is Arnhild Lauweng, a successful practicing psychologist and writer from Norway. She managed to overcome her ailment and now helps others fight this disease.
Who is Arnhild Lauweng?
Arnhild was a simple Norwegian girl - she studied at a regular school, conflicted and was friends with her peers and dreamed of becoming a psychologist. As a teenager, she began to notice changes in her worldview - she began to hear voices and sounds, see animals. The disease developed rapidly, and soon Arnhild got treatment in one of the hospitals for the mentally ill. For ten years she tried to cope with the disease and now can say that she was able to defeat schizophrenia. This seems impossible, since this disease is recognized by modern doctors as incurable. But the current psychologist Arnhild Lauweng insists on the contrary. Now she is engaged in scientific research in the field of psychology and is fighting for the rights of the mentally ill throughout Norway. In her books, she describes her path and reflects on the causes of the disease. Only two of them are translated into Russian. This is Arnhild Lauweng's book “Tomorrow I …”, describing her presence in the educational institution.
The book begins with these words:
I used to live my days as a sheep.
Every day, shepherds gathered the entire department to take the herd for a walk.
And angrily, like dogs, they usually barked at those who fell behind and did not want to go out.
Sometimes, driven by them, I gave a voice and bleated softly, wandering along the corridors in the general crowd, but no one asked me what was the matter …
Who will listen to the crazy people muttering there!
I used to live my days as a sheep.
Having gathered all in one herd, we were driven along the paths around the hospital, A slow herd of dissimilar individuals that no one wanted to distinguish.
Because we turned into a herd, And the whole herd, we were supposed to go for a walk, And the whole herd - to return to the house.
I used to live my days as a sheep.
The shepherds trimmed my overgrown mane and nails, So I better merge with the herd.
And I wandered in the crowd of neatly trimmed donkeys, bears, squirrels and crocodiles.
And peered at what no one wanted to notice.
Because I lived my days as a sheep
Meanwhile, my whole being was eager to hunt in the savannah. And I obediently went where the shepherds drove me, from pasture to stable, from barn to pasture, I went to where, in their opinion, the sheep were supposed to be, I knew this was wrong
And she knew that all this was not forever.
For I lived my days as a sheep.
But all the time was tomorrow's lion.
The second book by Arnhild Lauweng - "Useless as a Rose" - is known in Russia a little less. It is another confession and honestly talks about the problems in treating patients with schizophrenia, their attitude towards them and the chances of recovery.
early years
In his books, Arnhild Lauweng barely talks about his childhood. It is known that she was born on January 13, 1972 in Norway. At the age of five, the girl lost her father - he died after a long battle with cancer. As Lauweng later said in an interview, the death of his father will be one of the catalysts for her illness. Then, experiencing the pain of loss, the little girl began to blame herself for what had happened. To survive the loss of a loved one, she decided to go into the world of fantasy and convinced herself that she was able to wield magic that affects the lives of others.
A little more is known about the relationship between Lauweng and mother. Although the psychologist does not directly say anything bad about her and, on the contrary, she is grateful for her care and love, it can be assumed that the relationship between them was tense. In particular, it is known that Lauweng was bullied at school, which, according to her, most often happens with children who do not receive love in the family.
“Harassment can affect anyone and anywhere. But, perhaps, the victims still have something in common - they have weak social connections. If the child’s parents have a lot of friends, relatives and he grows up in a comfortable social environment, he plays with other children since childhood. "he is unlikely to be the victim of bullying."
- Arnhild Lauweng in an interview
Youth
At school, the girl began to think about a career as a psychologist. Learning in the middle classes, the girl began to be harassed by peers. In psychology, this is called bullying. In the book “Tomorrow I Was a Lion, ” Arnhild Lauweng describes the first signs of the disease, beginning to appear at the age of 14-15 years. This is fear, rejection, thoughts of suicide, and then a distorted perception of reality and sound hallucinations. The psychologist believes that bullying was also a catalyst for her illness. She believes that psychological abuse is much harder for a person than physical, and therefore children exposed to bullying are more prone to mental illness.
She notes that if she began to write books only now, taking into account all the experience and knowledge she has, she would pay more attention to the problem of bullying and her personal experience in this matter.
Disease
So, the girl began to notice the first signs of the disease at the age of 14 years. At 17, she decided to hospitalize in a hospital for the mentally ill. She called the era of the fight against her disease a “wolf era” - in the subjects of her hallucinations. The girl took almost 10 years to get rid of schizophrenia, but when she first went to a medical institution, there was no question of cure - the doctors conservatively maintained that it was forever, not taking into account that a small percentage of patients still go to the stage lifelong remission.
Arnhild Lauweng's disease manifested itself in hallucinations and the desire to mutilate oneself. She saw wolves, rats, and sometimes other animals, heard strange sounds. Often a strange lady appeared to her, the outfit of which she describes as both white and blue - such as a shadow cast by a silhouette could be. This woman was the embodiment of sadness for her. When Arnhild saw glassware (or other objects made of breakable material), she could not cope with the temptation to break it and inflict physical damage on herself with shrapnel. With these symptoms, she began her treatment.
Hospitalization
Medicine in Norway is at a fairly high level, but at the same time, the treatment system for the mentally ill is far from ideal. In her first hospitalization, Arnhild was admitted to a poorly financed hospital suffering from a lack of staff. Dangerous patients were sent there, suffering from acute psychoses and capable of injuring not only themselves, but also those around them.
“Nothing terrible happened to me in the hospital. Of course, such a serious illness brings a lot of pain, but staying in the hospital did not bring any horrors, mainly due to the attending physician, which I got. They turned out to be a young woman, still quite without experience, but she was an idealist and intelligent person, and most importantly, she had humanity and courage. In addition, she understood the importance of seemingly optional things."
- Arnhild Lauweng, "Tomorrow I Was a Lion"
The woman warmly recalls her doctor, a young specialist who saw in patients not only sick people, but also personalities. In the early days of the hospital, she felt very lonely. Once, a walk through the courtyard of the hospital was canceled due to rain, and Arnhild burst into tears because she could not go outside in her favorite weather. Tears in such institutions were treated indifferently or with scientific interest, trying to understand the dynamics of the patient. But the doctor that day turned not to the Arnhild patient, but to the Arnhild personality, sincerely interested in the cause of her tears.
To console the girl, the doctor, on her own responsibility, let her go for a walk alone. Then Arnhild decided that in order not to let the doctor who treated her with such kindness, she would not give in to the call of voices on the street, would not run away and would not harm herself. As Arnhild Lauweng later noted in Tomorrow I was a Lion, it was hope and will that helped her cope with the disease.
The phenomenon of recovery
Although schizophrenia is an incurable disease, there are still cases of recovery. However, here the opinions of doctors are divided: many of them believe that it is possible not to recover, but a long remission.
At the hospital, young Arnhild immediately made it clear that she had almost no chances. So she spent her youth in them - from 17 to 26 years. The shortest hospitalization was several days or weeks, and the long ones lasted several months.
She was prescribed a standard medication for her case, consisting of potent drugs. But they not only did not help, but sometimes acted overwhelmingly and only added the desire to mutilate themselves.
Once the girl was even sent to a nursing home - as terminally ill, while away her days under the supervision of medical workers. Then she dreamed of studying, wanted to change something, but could not find the strength in herself.
The girl was helped by a social worker: she found her a job as an assistant teacher at the university. Every morning, Arnhild began by cycling to her work. Then she came to the conclusion that two things are important for recovery: will and hope. When she had a goal - to graduate from the university and the opportunity to do this, she, in her words, began to recover.
With a willful effort, she forced herself to ignore the desire to cut her body; by an effort of will, she forbade herself to follow voices and pictures. Arnhild notes that recovery was not an instant process. It was a long journey that she was able to walk with dignity.
Turning points
She has not experienced seizures for a long time and believes that she was cured. She notes two turning points that gave her strength: when her mother stopped hiding broken dishes from her, and they drank tea from a china service together, and when she was able to throw a business card out of her wallet, telling her relatives and telling her how to proceed if she suddenly has an attack. She talks about this in an interview and writes in her books.
Arnhild's attitude toward schizophrenia: the genesis of the disease and treatment options
“I write this book for the reason that in the past I was sick with schizophrenia. It sounds just as incredible as if I wrote that“ I was in the past sick with AIDS ”or“ in the past was sick with diabetes. ”After all, “ a former schizophrenic "- this is something that is simply hard to believe. This role is not foreseen anywhere. In the case of schizophrenia, people agree to acknowledge the possibility of an erroneous diagnosis. Schizophrenia is possible without symptoms, suppressed by medication, it is also possible for a person suffering from schizophrenia adapted to his symptoms or to have a period of temporary improvement at the moment. All of these are perfectly acceptable alternatives, but none of them apply to my case. I had schizophrenia. I know what it was. I know what it looked like for me, the world around me, how I perceived it, what I thought, how I behaved under the influence of the disease, I also had “temporary improvements.” I know how I perceived them. And I know how things are now. This is a completely different matter. I'm healthy now. And we must admit that this is also possible."
- Arnhild Lauweng, "Useless as a Rose"
Now the girl is working on the development of a methodology for treating patients with this terrible ailment. In her opinion, the disease can "sleep" for a long time transmitted through genes. In order for it to wake up, stress is most often needed - the death of a loved one, bullying, and other diseases.
She says that there is no universal cure for schizophrenia, and in some cases medicine is powerless. But at the same time, one cannot help but give people hope and put the stigma of the terminally ill on them. The method that helped her may be useless to other people. Therefore, she is working in the social sphere, working on changing approaches to treating patients.
Problems in the treatment of schizophrenia patients
In addition to scientific activities, Arnhild struggles with the attitude towards patients with schizophrenia, trying to change the approach to their treatment in the hospital and the hostile attitude towards patients in society.
She notes that degrading treatment of patients in educational institutions only exacerbates the symptoms and underdeveloped rehabilitation system after undergoing treatment.
Contribution to Psychiatry
After recovering, Arnhild graduated from the University of Oslo and worked as a clinical psychologist. She has the title of candidate of psychological sciences, for a long time was a graduate student of NKS Olaviken, where she worked in the field of mental health.
In 2004, Lauweng received an award for assistance in improving mental health care.
